Reverse Culture Shock

So I have been back in the states now for over 8 months. Its crazy to think that, but time truly has gone by quickly. I feel that overall my transition has been good and smooth. I only had a few rough weeks in the beginning, but since then I rested in the fact that I know I am called to be here for now, and acknowledged that it is ok to separate in my mind how different life in Peru is to life here in the States.

So after my visit back to Peru this past September, about 6 months after leaving Peru, I would have imagined at least a little reverse culture shock. The weird thing is that while in Peru I was semi-eager to get back here. The weirder thing is, last week after visiting my dear friend in Boston I had a HARD time adjusting to being back here and was questioning where I am to be.

Backing up..... as a nurse there are many opportunities in many places to work, and I have always toyed with the idea of travel nursing. But, I need community and people I know nearby, and I wouldn't take an assignment to a place where I don't know anyone.

I LOVED Boston.

I loved it when I went there with my family 13ish years ago, and I loved it even more this time around. I could TOTALLY live there. I also have family and many friends from working camp at Ridge Haven that are out in St. Louis. That would be a great destination too!

One of the biggest reasons for considering this is for finances. My hope and plan (which is often changed by One who knows best) is to be debt free by 30. I am also burdened to help some dear people to me out financially as well and would be able to "do more" if I made more.

The shock hit after the trip probably for several reasons. I came back from Boston with my new car waiting for me. And honestly for the first few days I really wasn't enjoying it much. It wasn't buyers remorse, because I'd done the research, saved a good chunk of money, and know this is logically a great decision. Taking on a new loan and a new (used) car is stressful, but finally got to where I can look at the HUGE blessing the car is that I have, that I DON'T deserve at all, but in all logical reasons is what I need right now. Balancing me having this nice car with what I was used to in Peru, and the 2 mindsets between these 2 countries, was part of my initial problem. It isn't a necessity to have a car in Peru, there is enough public transportation and taxis to get you anywhere, but it is a necessity here to have a reliable mode of transportation. If my dearest friends in Peru were to see this car of mine that I have, I don't believe they would understand well. Then on another aspect, being able to pay for this right now when some close to me are really struggling financially, I guess I also felt guilty for having this as well.

Then if I were to leave, it would be hard and take longer to find good community as I already have here. Last Sunday night (in the midst of this shock) I teared up several times at life group thinking of the possibility of leaving my group at OMPC (even though there are many I am still getting to know).

I came back from Boston and kept all these building thoughts of "I don't know where God wants me!!!!!" inside and they kept building up for several days before I could talk to someone and let it all out. But once I did, it didn't seem like such a big issue after all (though it was HUGE in my mind), and was so good to have some view points from two sweet sisters in Christ about it all (shout out to Crissy and Duski!).



......now some odd days later, I am once again at peace (thank you Lord) and though I don't know where He may want me later, I know He wants me here right now.

Not What I Planned

It was just a normal day...or so I thought. I wanted to get as much sleep as possible before working a double shift, but in preparations for a trip coming up, I needed to take my car in to be looked at, oil change, brakes, etc. I went on to bed to get whatever sleep I could, and then was called. "Miss Bennett," the mechanic said, "how much do you like your car?" Up to that point I was mostly content with what I had. The conversation continued and he told me what all they found wrong with my car. I know a lot of mechanics will try to pull one over on people, especially young women, but I don't believe this was the case. The costs of fixing the dangerous issues my car had was quite a bit more than the actual worth of the car, and he told me as well that I was a few pot holes short of watching my wheel fly off and getting in a serious accident. So, long story short, I will be getting a newer car here shortly.

Initially I freaked out. This was NOT part of my plan. I am slowly getting up on my feet financially, and was not planning to buy a car for at least 6 months. My plan. It makes me think about the scene in Evan Almighty when Steve Carell's character says the same thing to Morgan Freeman's character, "God" who responds, "Your plan?" and then laughs. Yet, if my plan was to wait a few more months before seriously considering a car purchase, I could have very easily been involved in a car accident if my car really is in such a bad condition. Come to think of it, if it weren't for the oil needing to be changed, I probably would have taken this trip, and who knows what could have happened. It makes me wonder if something similarly to that scene in Evan Almighty took place in the heavenly realm as I was in my room crying and frustrated about getting a new car. Well, maybe He wouldn't have been laughing about the absurdity of me worrying about "my plan" than He would have been trying to console me and show me He is protecting me, that He has more of a purpose for me than to loose my wheel and possibly my life with it.

Why am I so thick-headed sometimes? And who gets upset about getting a newer car?

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the LORD. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

(oh and side note... I am more at peace about the whole situation now).